The Blonde and the Spider

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the spider?

No?

Well, today is your lucky day.

Dumb Blonde

Yesterday, I cleaned out the northwest corner of our barn.

That's where we had shoveled all the straw, chicken poop, goat poop, and what not that had been in the back half of the barn.

Why has it taken so long?

Its not fun.

And trying to bribe my kids into doing it, wasn't getting it done.

So...  

Yep...

I got it done.

Then I rearranged the southwest wall and put the stuff that I wasn't sure what to do with on the northwest wall where the pile of junk used to be.

I'm not sure exactly what this accomplished, except for the fact that it made it look like I actually did something.

LOL

And here's your blond joke of the day:

I then attempted to pull off the two remaining boards 

that were still nailed to the west wall in the southwest corner.

Yeah.

Couldn't budge 'em.

There was some debris in between the outer wall wall and the  boards, so I reached down, pulled it out, and tossed it on the pile in the trailer.

Doing so unearthed a large, nasty looking spider that crawled halfway up the wall, which I'm almost positive was this:

Brown Recluse

Which, immediately struck fear in my heart for Scott and the kids. 

(Just thinking about it makes the hair on my neck stand up.  I HATE spiders.  HATE.  THEM.)

So what did I do?

I jab at it with a scoop shovel.

And missed.

Which sent it scurrying back into the depths from which it was hiding.

So, what does the blond do?

I grab the leaf blower, stick it in between the walls, and try to blow the sucker out.

And this isn't a half-hearted blower.

Its a Stihl blower from their commercial line.

We don't play around when it comes to equipment.

Immediately, I was showered in dirt, cobwebs, and splintered wood 

that had fallen in between the walls over the last hundred years.

Okay...

Wait for it.

You know what's coming, don't you?

{Do I hear you laughing?}

All of a sudden I realized that I might have blown that nasty thing on me along with everything else.

{Are you laughing at me?}

This resulted in an epileptic fit of me screaming while tearing at my hair, my skin, and my clothing, trying to 

GET. IT. OFF.

{It's REALLY not that funny.}

And because I knew stuff had probably blown up my shirt and my shorts, I immediately stripped down, frantically hitting at every part of my body I could reach.

{Are you still laughing because there IS karma, ya know.}

So what if I was half-naked in my barn?

Its not like anyone could SEE me.

I think.

And so what if I considered for a fraction of an second 

running outside and rolling around on the grass 

to get it off my back?

Because when I reached the roll up door, it hit me that they were still putting up the electrical lines on my road and someone might drive by and see a 

half-naked fat lady rolling around on the ground.

And they'd be scarred for life.

{You really should stop laughing now.}

So.

{You KNOW you would have done the same thing.  Don't lie.}

Yeah.

{Except you WOULD have rolled around in the grass.}

That was the highlight of my day.

So glad I could provide some amusement for you.  ;)

On the bright side, that corner is cleaned out.

Oh, and I didn't get bit by the spider.

That's a bonus.

And I probably scared the spider to death with all the screaming and commotion.

And I found out that Scott had the right idea about the wire spool and the island top.

And today, I've got to figure out a way to get out that pile of shingles and concrete.

 Except I'm afraid the spider is in there.

Maybe I should take the blower to it first?  

Or maybe not.

XO,

I {HEART} Auctions

Whoo-boy!  Have I caught auction fever!

Last night, Scott and I hit another auction. 

I so wish I wasn't selling half the stuff, so I could share the prices we paid.  

That's half the fun!  

I find the more I do this, the more picky I am getting 

and the less I'm willing to pay for stuff. 

That's a good thing.  ;) 

Of course, it helps that the workshop is packed to the gills, 

but I do realize when I need to let things go and move on.  

However, stuff just wasn't selling last night, 

so we got some awesome stuff for some unreal prices.

Without further ado, check out these awesome scores:

Sideboard
Mine to keep, since I'm selling my wall paper buffet.  :)
$35.00 Holla!

Two leaves.  Six Chairs.
The man who owned the items being auctioned had A TON of wood-working stuff.  I'm wondering if this table and chair set was handmade.  On the bottom of one of the chairs I found written in pencil, "Chairs Completed Feb. '60".

Hideously ugly, right?
The glass is going to have to go, but I see potential.  :)

FREE
A guy asked me if I wanted it, since it came in a group with some other stuff.
He said he was going to burn it.
I was like, "Sure.  I'll take it."  ;)
Doesn't he know bamboo is HOT right now?  ;)

And the total score and 

my absolute favorite of the night:

I've learned to school my features during auctions, 

but I did grin pretty big when Scott got this one.  :D

Ethan Allen, baby!

It'll be hard to re-do this one and let it go.  

Scott says he knew he was going to have problems 

with me doing that.  

He knows me well!  HA HA HA!

Thank goodness he's around to keep me on the straight and narrow because honestly, I'd probably want to keep EVERYTHING.  

LOL!

And also a couple of dressers and a mirror from an auction 

last week that I haven't shared yet...

The mirror is being turned into a chalkboard, 

since it's REALLY ugly.  

And then a few smalls (Oh Lord, I'm talking like Mike and Frank HA HA HA!) that I get to keep.  YIPPEE!

That's a WOODEN pulley.  Awesome!  

Now to figure out something cool to do with it.

I know I saw something, somewhere.  ;)

And I've always wanted a yoke after I saw what my friend, Jess, did with one.  

Totally copying.  LOL!

Oh - and I almost forgot this dealy...

They're replacing all the power line poles on our road, so when one of the guys came up to the house yesterday to tell me we'd be without power for a little bit while they switched the lines over, I asked what they do with the big empty wire spools.  They actually re-use them, but he said he could at least give me one.  YAY!

Nothing is better than FREE!

I want to use it for a patio table.  

Scott wants me to use it in the shop to put our big island top on it, 

that we salvaged from our kitchen.    

Something tells me, that's probably where it'll go.

Of course, I have to actually get to painting and SELL some of the stuff that's accumulating, so I can make room for it.  

Our idea is to buy in the summer, while there's a lot of auctions 
and paint through the winter.  

I'd say we have a good head start.  ;)

I now only have a very small corner to work in.  LOL!

And three more chairs to do for a client.

So exciting!

Well, I'd better go do SOMETHING...  

Like finish cleaning out the end of the shop, so we have more room.  HA HA HA!

Have a fantastic day, y'all!

XO,

Custom Photography Studio Desk {Reveal}

When I sold the china cabinet a couple of weeks ago, I was blessed to not only meet what has become a very loyal client, but also make a great new friend.

I dropped off the cabinet and picked up this desk that I showed you last week:

It had some minor issues that included a small carving in the top edge of the drawer, 

some gouges, and lots of scratches.  

She was a little old lady that was showing her age, that's all.

The biggest issue was the warping 

of one of the two boards that made up the top:

It had quite a "lip" on it and I was unsure if I would be able to get it flat again.  

However, my client had faith in me, 

so I had to give it my best shot.

I gave her an ASCP treatment of "Old White" and "Pure White", two coats, one of each and a third coat of the "Pure White" to touch up a few spots that kept bleeding through.  

Thankfully, there were only a few of those.

It was then waxed with AS Clear and Dark Wax to antique the finish 

and beg you do a double take at those gorgeous legs.

She was then lightly distressed to make those corners and edges "pop" after being camouflaged beneath the dark wood and varnish.

I think I can speak for her, that she's much happier now, 

after getting the Prairie Patina treatment.

And tonight, she will be delivered back to her owner 

feeling much better about herself.

With no more carvings and gouges ruining her classic looks.

And I'm sure she'll be super happy in her new home at 

Photography by Christine. 

(Click the link above if you're local and need a photographer.  Christine is AWESOME.) 

She'll be the perfect addition to the bridal section 

and will host hundreds of ecstatic brides planning the photography 

of one of the most important days of their lives.

What a great future she has to look forward to, don't you think?

XO,

A Chair Story (With A Happy Ending) {Reveal}

Once upon a time, there was a chair.

It was a gorgeous chair.

And it knew it was pretty.

And all the other chairs thought it was beautiful too.

"Oh, you have such wonderful lines," they said.

"We wish we had your carvings." 

and

"You're clothing is the height of fashion."

And so the chair preened and stood proud, 

knowing it had a place of honor in society.

But then time passed.  

The chair turned old.  

All of her friends fell apart, were sold, put in a basement or 

were thrown away..

One day, she was put in an attic.  

Alone.  Forgotten.  Sad.

But then one day the man came and gave her away.

She was put in a store for sale.

And she had  hope.

Surely someone would see through her scratches and scuffs...

The worn and ripped clothing...

To what lay beneath.

But she sat and sat and sat.

As each day passed, she grew more and more discouraged 

that she would ever find a new home.  

And her fear grew that she too, would be thrown away.

Then one day a lady came and took her to a new home.

She was so happy.

But the lady stuck her in a corner with a blanket over her, 

to cover her scars.  

Rambunctious kids sat on her. 

Abused her. 

Shedding cats laid on her.

Months passed and the lady did nothing.

Her stuffing began to fall out.  

And her small tear became a gaping hole.  

The poor chair began to think that this was surely the end of her.

And then one morning, the lady took her out to a shed.

She sat her beside other neglected furniture, took off all of her clothes, and left her there.  

At that moment, the chair knew that her life as a chair was over.

 

But that evening, the lady started fixing her stuffing.

And then she began painting her.

Once again the little chair began to hope.

But then the lady started to cover her with painter's canvas 

and the little chair began to worry again.

"What is this lady doing to me?" 

But still, there was a tiny spark of hope that this lady (who clearly had no idea what she was doing) 

might be the answer to her prayers.

Over the next two days, the old, beaten down, ugly and unloved chair was transformed.

And on the third morning, when she awoke she could barely believe her eyes.

Once again she was lovely and admired.

Once again she sat tall and proud...

with dignity...

and grace.

And so she lived happily ever after.

The End.

XO, 

Moving Day

No, not really moving.  

Technically...  Removing.

Removing all the junk I've accumulated in the house during the last ten months since I've found my passion for making over furniture.

Who knew I had stockpiled so much.

And what a relief to get it out of the house where I had stashed it everywhere.

Yes,  I'm a stasher.

I admit it.

Yesterday I relocated it all out to the workshop, since we've gotten it to a point where I can actually work in it.

I did it the easy way...

Even Lucy-Kitty likes the workshop so much, she wanted to move too.

That's a lot of stuff.

Which... I neatly organized once I unloaded down at the workshop.

I love the cabinet Scott got for me for $5.00.

What great storage.

And then there's the stuff that I've accumulated for staging and for re-doing that I haven't gotten around to well...  re-doing.

Something tells me I'll never have a picture-perfect studio.  LOL

Yesterday was a busy day, because after I did all that, I reloaded the Yukon with all the stuff that we removed from the workshop that needed to go into the garage.

Then, I stashed it in there.

See...  Total stasher.

{No picture of the garage.  I don't want to scare you.}

Next, I got to working on my first custom furniture makeover:

I am sooooo jealous of this piece.  

Look at those legs.

Solid wood and heavier than heck.

And when I reached a point where I needed Scott's advice, I switched to this:

I've only had this chair since, like, October or something.

I decided to tackle my fear of upholstering and just do it already.

I'll let you know how that turns out.

Then, Scott calls and says,

"I'm at an auction.  You need to come.  Now."

Ugh.

"Okay."

"You might need therapy."

Off came the sweatpants, ratty t-shirt, paint stained sweatshirt, and Under Armor slides.  

Quick bath... 

Make-up on... 

Get dolled up... 

Drive to auction...

Buy two dressers and a sofa table. 

(I'm keeping the last one)

Lose out on a funky cool chair that Scott just didn't have any vision for and an awesome Hoosier cabinet that he was willing to buy, but I wasn't willing to risk making no profit on.  Now, had we been buying to keep, which we weren't, I would have had it one way or another.  Maybe some day.  ;)

And then oohed and cooed over a way cool old coffee jar from Marshalltown, Iowa that he bought me earlier because he really loves me.  ;)

Isn't that too cool?

I still have to google it, to figure out if the company is now defunct.  

I'm pretty sure it is, but I want to get a date on it.

I still can't believe he paid eighteen dollars for it.

He must really love me.  ;)

But, that will have to wait, because the desk is calling my name.

Scott took a look at it last night, sanded on it some more, and deemed it ready to go.

And while I'm waiting for the paint to dry between coats, I'm going to tackle the upholstering...  That I'm petrified of.  LOL

One thing I've already learned:

Wearing UA slides to work in is a bad idea.

When you're on your feet all day.

Figured out that the shooting pains from my ankles to my thighs were from not wearing supportive shoes.

Today, I'm wearing Teva sandals.  ;)

If you're looking for me, you know where I'll be:

Make it a great day, y'all.  :)