Welcome To Our Little Big House On The Prairie

Friday, May 18, 2012

The Blonde and the Spider

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the spider?


Well, today is your lucky day.

Dumb Blonde
Yesterday, I cleaned out the northwest corner of our barn.

That's where we had shoveled all the straw, chicken poop, goat poop, and what not that had been in the back half of the barn.

Why has it taken so long?

Its not fun.

And trying to bribe my kids into doing it, wasn't getting it done.



I got it done.

Then I rearranged the southwest wall and put the stuff that I wasn't sure what to do with on the northwest wall where the pile of junk used to be.

I'm not sure exactly what this accomplished, except for the fact that it made it look like I actually did something.


And here's your blond joke of the day:

I then attempted to pull off the two remaining boards 
that were still nailed to the west wall in the southwest corner.


Couldn't budge 'em.

There was some debris in between the outer wall wall and the  boards, so I reached down, pulled it out, and tossed it on the pile in the trailer.

Doing so unearthed a large, nasty looking spider that crawled halfway up the wall, which I'm almost positive was this:

Brown Recluse
Which, immediately struck fear in my heart for Scott and the kids. 
(Just thinking about it makes the hair on my neck stand up.  I HATE spiders.  HATE.  THEM.)

So what did I do?

I jab at it with a scoop shovel.

And missed.

Which sent it scurrying back into the depths from which it was hiding.

So, what does the blond do?

I grab the leaf blower, stick it in between the walls, and try to blow the sucker out.

And this isn't a half-hearted blower.

Its a Stihl blower from their commercial line.

We don't play around when it comes to equipment.

Immediately, I was showered in dirt, cobwebs, and splintered wood 
that had fallen in between the walls over the last hundred years.


Wait for it.

You know what's coming, don't you?

{Do I hear you laughing?}

All of a sudden I realized that I might have blown that nasty thing on me along with everything else.

{Are you laughing at me?}

This resulted in an epileptic fit of me screaming while tearing at my hair, my skin, and my clothing, trying to 


{It's REALLY not that funny.}

And because I knew stuff had probably blown up my shirt and my shorts, I immediately stripped down, frantically hitting at every part of my body I could reach.

{Are you still laughing because there IS karma, ya know.}

So what if I was half-naked in my barn?

Its not like anyone could SEE me.

I think.

And so what if I considered for a fraction of an second 
running outside and rolling around on the grass 
to get it off my back?

Because when I reached the roll up door, it hit me that they were still putting up the electrical lines on my road and someone might drive by and see a 
half-naked fat lady rolling around on the ground.

And they'd be scarred for life.

{You really should stop laughing now.}


{You KNOW you would have done the same thing.  Don't lie.}


{Except you WOULD have rolled around in the grass.}

That was the highlight of my day.

So glad I could provide some amusement for you.  ;)

On the bright side, that corner is cleaned out.

Oh, and I didn't get bit by the spider.

That's a bonus.

And I probably scared the spider to death with all the screaming and commotion.

And I found out that Scott had the right idea about the wire spool and the island top.

And today, I've got to figure out a way to get out that pile of shingles and concrete.

 Except I'm afraid the spider is in there.

Maybe I should take the blower to it first?  

Or maybe not.



Emily said...

Oh.my.God. I can SO see that happening to me - oh wait, it almost did! I'm having flashbacks to my freshman year in college...think giant roach, on my head, at 2 AM...resulting in being rescued by someone else's boyfriend and the entire floor full of awake, screaming girls. NOT an experience I'd like to repeat. You have my deepest sympathies...!!!

Tanya said...

Oh, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! I had to cover my hand over the screen(picture of the spider) in order to read on. AHHHHHH, I HATE SPIDERS!!!!! I can picture myself doing the same thing, except booking it to the house and never going back in. HAHA. Glad it didn't bite ya! Yikes.

Maria said...

You want to come live in Australia, our Hunstmen spiders make Brown Recluse look like pussies. I've had a ton of HUMUNGUS spiders on me and I used to do the same as you!..Except for the half naked part. LOL! I've got more used to being calm and just getting brave and flicking them off. Not fun! I do love your barn! Wish I had one! Minus the creepy crawlies, of course!

Kammy's Korner said...

That is some HILARIOUS stuff! Yes, I really truly "LOLed". :) Yeah, especially freaky though since I've been on strong antibiotics the last couple weeks for what the doctors think was a spider bite that got infected!!!! ACK!

art is beauty said...

so glad my shed wasn't that torturous ...:) I only turned into a NINJA when I ran into the spider web..LOL!

Nicole said...

I can totally see you doing this. Although I can totally see myself doing it too. lol. Thanks for the chuckle. :)

Katie Olthoff said...

lol. This was hilarious. The funniest part? My husband would have reacted that way, while I would have rolled my eyes at him. :)

Kimberly @ The Brown Eyes Have It said...

I would have totally done e same thing! Although I'm not sure I would have been brave enough to go after it in the first place. If I saw a spider that big I probably would have told my husband to kill the spider himself and then I would have continued the cleaning. Shudder!

oakleyses said...

coach factory outlet, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, prada handbags, longchamp handbags, michael kors outlet, tiffany and co, true religion jeans, air max, jordan shoes, louboutin shoes, oakley sunglasses, chanel handbags, nike shoes, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, louboutin outlet, tory burch outlet, louis vuitton, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, louis vuitton handbags, michael kors outlet, coach outlet store online, coach purses, polo ralph lauren outlet, nike free, michael kors outlet, true religion jeans, ray ban sunglasses, kate spade handbags, tiffany and co, gucci outlet, longchamp handbags, louboutin, burberry outlet, coach outlet, christian louboutin shoes, air max, ray ban sunglasses, kate spade outlet, oakley sunglasses cheap, louis vuitton outlet stores, prada outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet, longchamp outlet

oakleyses said...

nfl jerseys, giuseppe zanotti, wedding dresses, iphone 6 cases, instyler, jimmy choo outlet, bottega veneta, baseball bats, canada goose, new balance shoes, uggs outlet, marc jacobs, ugg, babyliss pro, canada goose uk, abercrombie and fitch, insanity workout, chi flat iron, ugg australia, air max, moncler, p90x, mcm handbags, moncler outlet, north face jackets, soccer jerseys, canada goose outlet, lululemon outlet, ugg pas cher, moncler, hollister clothing store, ghd, soccer shoes, north face outlet, celine handbags, mont blanc, asics running shoes, reebok outlet, canada goose, rolex watches, beats by dre, herve leger, canada goose, ugg boots, ferragamo shoes, valentino shoes, moncler, birkin bag, canada goose jackets, ugg boots

oakleyses said...

lululemon, sac guess, nike huarache, air max, hollister, sac burberry, sac louis vuitton, new balance pas cher, hollister, vanessa bruno, longchamp, sac louis vuitton, barbour, north face, mac cosmetics, hogan outlet, polo ralph lauren, vans pas cher, louboutin, ray ban sunglasses, nike tn, sac hermes, nike free pas cher, oakley pas cher, timberland, nike roshe run, north face, louis vuitton, longchamp, ralph lauren, michael kors, air force, nike roshe, nike air max, nike blazer, hollister, nike free, michael kors, sac longchamp, polo lacoste, ray ban pas cher, nike trainers, michael kors pas cher, converse pas cher, louis vuitton uk, vans shoes, air jordan, mulberry, nike roshe run, abercrombie and fitch

oakleyses said...

louis vuitton outlet, nike air max, louis vuitton, replica watches, burberry handbags, longchamp outlet, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, nike outlet, jordan shoes, louis vuitton outlet, prada handbags, prada outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet online, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet online, oakley sunglasses, kate spade outlet, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses wholesale, chanel handbags, louis vuitton outlet, nike air max, christian louboutin uk, christian louboutin outlet, tiffany and co, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, uggs outlet, christian louboutin, polo outlet, uggs on sale, longchamp outlet, gucci handbags, replica watches, christian louboutin shoes, tory burch outlet, nike free, louis vuitton, tiffany jewelry, burberry outlet, uggs outlet

oakleyses said...

nike free run, vans pas cher, ralph lauren uk, hollister uk, burberry pas cher, hollister pas cher, north face uk, michael kors, polo lacoste, nike air max uk, timberland pas cher, nike air force, nike tn, nike free uk, true religion outlet, sac vanessa bruno, nike air max uk, ray ban uk, coach outlet store online, lululemon canada, ray ban pas cher, longchamp pas cher, true religion outlet, replica handbags, true religion jeans, nike blazer pas cher, air max, michael kors, oakley pas cher, coach purses, michael kors outlet, converse pas cher, sac hermes, coach outlet, polo ralph lauren, sac longchamp pas cher, nike air max, north face, guess pas cher, hogan outlet, true religion outlet, jordan pas cher, mulberry uk, new balance, nike roshe run uk, nike roshe, kate spade, louboutin pas cher, abercrombie and fitch uk, michael kors pas cher

oakleyses said...

ferragamo shoes, p90x workout, oakley, valentino shoes, ralph lauren, babyliss, bottega veneta, soccer jerseys, lululemon, wedding dresses, ipad cases, celine handbags, hermes belt, new balance shoes, nike huaraches, north face outlet, chi flat iron, timberland boots, hollister clothing, north face outlet, nike trainers uk, asics running shoes, louboutin, insanity workout, mac cosmetics, iphone 6s cases, giuseppe zanotti outlet, jimmy choo outlet, iphone 6 plus cases, s6 case, ghd hair, longchamp uk, vans outlet, iphone 5s cases, mont blanc pens, nike air max, abercrombie and fitch, instyler, reebok outlet, nike roshe run, baseball bats, herve leger, nfl jerseys, iphone 6s plus cases, soccer shoes, beats by dre, mcm handbags, iphone 6 cases, hollister, iphone cases

oakleyses said...

canada goose outlet, converse, ugg uk, montre pas cher, moncler outlet, ray ban, wedding dresses, hollister, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, ugg pas cher, canada goose outlet, marc jacobs, canada goose, louis vuitton, links of london, coach outlet, moncler, juicy couture outlet, ugg, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, replica watches, canada goose, pandora charms, louis vuitton, karen millen uk, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, canada goose outlet, canada goose, doudoune moncler, pandora jewelry, hollister, swarovski, pandora uk, barbour uk, barbour, toms shoes, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, lancel, moncler, converse outlet, moncler uk, louis vuitton, canada goose uk, moncler outlet, moncler, thomas sabo, swarovski crystal, nike air max, supra shoes

Fangyaya said...

oakley sunglasses wholesale
adidas originals shoes
coach outlet online
polo ralph lauren
toms shoes outlet online
coach factory outlet
adidas stan smith
lebron james shoes
gucci outlet online
nike air jordan
toms shoes
coach outlet
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store online clearances
timberland outlet
louis vuitton handbags
cheap jordan shoes
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors handbags
nike air force 1
ray ban sunglasses
ghd flat iron
coach outlet store online clearances
hollister clothing store
oakley sunglasses wholesale
designer handbags
kate spade
louis vuitton outlet
kate spade
pandora jewelry
coach outlet online
gucci handbags
louis vuitton
louboutin pas cher
christian louboutin shoes
longchamp handbags
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
nfl jerseys wholesale
ralph lauren outlet

Yaro Gabriel said...


michael kors outlet
mishka clothing
bally shoes
tory burch outlet
michael kors outlet
cheap jordans
nuggets jerseys
puma outlet
jordan shoes
yeezy boost

jeje said...

Il est nike air max thea mujer argentina originaire de Shibuya alors qu'il se trouvait dans nike solde canada le quartier de Harajuku à nike air presto homme grise Tokyo. Inversement, avant de courir sur chaussures asics femme blanche le tapis de course, si vous air jordan distributeur france faisiez les exercices d'échauffement dans air jordan 1 mid blanche les deux premières minutes, presque toutes nike air max 1 og navy pas cher les anomalies de l'ECG disparaîtraient ou diminueraient.

Xu千禧 said...

louboutin shoes
coach outlet online
ugg boots clearance
uggs outlet
moncler online outlet
oakley sunglasses
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
canada goose jackets
michael kors outlet

ARE said...

0820jejeLes femmes Air Jordan Homme Nike Dunk GS transformateur en or rouge, les femmes Nike Dunk personnalisé lotus rose blanc respectueux de l'environnement, La lueur de l'obscurité Nike basket nike air max 1 en daim gris dunks beige respectueux de l'environnement, Les cadeaux de Noël 2010 Nike SB Dunk Lower bleu chaussures nike aire max 2016 blanc femme; Un autre Bonjour Kitty encouragé Dunks peut-être l'édition féminine des femmes Howdy Kitty Nike asics gel lyte 3 femme suede gris Dunk Small SB de haute qualité, et tout dernier mais pas le moins les asics kayano 24 Chaussures femmes Nike Dunk Kermesina rose très faible. L'extrémité moyenne et supérieure est dominée par les deux asics au meilleur prix autres formes. Une interaction beaucoup plus libre avec la planète extérieure est fortement sanctionnée par certains états comme la baskets nike tn homme Chine.