Welcome To Our Little Big House On The Prairie

Friday, April 27, 2012

What If?

It is not often that I talk of matters of faith and religion.  I certainly don't want to be accused of "shoving my beliefs down my follower's throats", so if you are offended by such, you may want to stop reading now.

I have spent a lot of time on my knees this morning 
and have cried a few  a lot of tears.  

Not of sadness or pain, but tears of joy and a profound thankfulness that my Father knows my heart.  

Its a pretty rare thing for me to feel so moved and overwhelmed that I find myself on the floor with my head bowed.  

This morning was one of those times.  

And the only thing I could utter while sobbing was, "Thank you."

Yesterday, I delivered the china cabinet (kind of hard not to say "my" since it has a new home now).  I admit, I felt a little pang when I saw the empty corner when I came home, but it was mingled with pure unadulterated joy over actually selling something.

I spent the entire day yesterday doing nothing but designing estimate sheets, invoices, business cards, and such because I have a feeling deep inside that a humble start...

might just be the beginning of something new...

and exciting that could change my life.

This is something that has been in my heart for a while.

And the amazement and gratitude that I feel for my Heavenly Father leaves me without words.

How He knows what my deepest desires are and answered a prayer that I never even uttered.

Because I was scared to even speak it.

Yesterday, as I frantically worked on

I fought the idea of calling the buyer and telling her I couldn't sell it to her.

Not because I didn't want to.

Not at all.

But because I was afraid.

I had a gazillion doubts running through my mind:

What if she thinks it doesn't look as good as the picture?

What if she thinks I do terrible work?

What if it doesn't look as good as I think?

What if she tells me she doesn't want it?

What.  If.

I'm not a professional.

I'm a stay-at-home mom for Heaven sake.

I literally was sick to my stomach.


Because with one tiny inquisitive e-mail my mind began to 
open to  possibilities.

What. If?

As I worked, my mind wandered back to a recent conversation I had with my mother.

The devil is the doubter.

God is the encourager.

Satan says, "You can't."

Your Heavenly Father says, "You can."

So I did.

And she loved it.

I came home last night with two custom painting orders.

Signed.  Contracts.

And another lined up.

And possibly a sale for my mirror.

If  I can decide if I want to part with it.  ;)

But more importantly...

by the time Scott and I left after four hours of laughing & talking

with my first client and new friend...

my thoughts bloomed from fear into 

full blown hope for

a line of repurposed, custom painted furniture, and crafts. 

Or as my catch phrase reads:

"Pottery Barn & Restoration Hardware style without the price tag."
for northeastern Iowa.

What.  If.


Sally said...

Awwwww, this is the sweetest post ever. I'm so happy for you! Here's to new beginnings! God is good -- all the time! ~Sally

Fox Hollow Cottage said...

No more if's.

You ARE.

You're doing it girl!

You have gone and DONE it.

I could not be happier for you.

PS-stinking cutest ever tags. luv.

Tanya said...

LAURA-I am a lot like you in that I always had that feeling of I would love to do this as a profession, however my own doubts in myself have stopped me from doing it for anyone other than myself or blogging purposes. I'm sooooo afraid to put myself out there. Laura, I think this post you did today changed me. I need to just try! You have inspired me!!! Thank you friend =) So many hugs to you.

Emily said...

How awesome Laura, I'm so happy for you! You are so inspiring and so talented and so much more than JUST a stay at home mom. Your work is beautiful and we're all cheering you on! So proud of you :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your post today! You are a true blessing...and an awesome painter! I am currently working on a little side table, painting with a lovely turquoise (chalk) paint, and using wax for the first time....your pictures inspire me...when I walk around the thrift store (with my 25% off in mind)...I see ugly pieces and think of what you did to that china cabinet (IF ONLY I had known this back when I bought a $40 shina cabinet and turned it into my linen cabinet)...YOU bless others with your words and creativity...and yes, I struggle with the "what if"...and God will bless your efforts, you have so much talent...thanks for giving us ideas....I love your work!!!! Prayers to you!

Anonymous said...

You've expressed my own fears and thoughts. You go girl, And Thank you Abba Daddy for encouraging and bringing to fruition the desires of your daughter's, Laura's heart.

Anonymous said...

Speaking from your heart, you have actually written here the words that every person has when the doubts start crowding the positives out...your words were so familiar and you truly spoke to each one of us who have had that little bit of fear to step out and say "I can do this"...You are talented and humble...you will do very well....keep on!

Nicole said...

I love this post, Laura! I am super uber excited for you. You're more put together than I am. Mine's just a notebook with my scribbles in it. Guess I should copy you in that area. ;) It looks great and I love the catch phrase.

Miss Charming said...

I've been looking through your blog and I absolutely love it. So many wonderful projects. My favorite, other than the dining room table is the beautiful china hutch. You made it look fantastic. You have the ability to really make your business a success . I look forward to see which project you tackle next! (Newest follower.)

Nancy Bee's Knees said...

God bless you, Laura! This is such a wonderful post ... you've given my heart wings this morning. I'm so glad you've found that tiny bit of courage that is the beginning of a whole new experience for you. Remember, now that you've found it, nothing can take away what you're meant to be. I'm so proud of you! {{{hugs}}} Nancy

Shari @ turnstylevogue.com said...

So happy for you! You will do great. Fear is a good thing - you never want to be too complacent or too comfortable. Just let the fear motivate you, not paralyze you. I've been there. Switching from corporate legal career to follow what used to be a hobby/passion is a scary thing both emotionally and financially, but if you have the drive, you will survive! :)

Kim@todayismysome-day said...

I'm a first time visitor to your page via Fox Hollow Cottage. What a beautiful description of how so many of us feel- inadequate and ill-equipped. When God has given us everything we need to accomplish His purposes for our lives. I've just starred painting furniture and renting a booth myself, and God has been so faithful! I pray your efforts are blessed!

Angie @ Postcards from the Ridge said...

Visiting today via Fox Hollow's sharing of your post on facebook. And I must say, that's one moving post. You just brought tears to my eyes because this really speaks to me. Doubt is hard to overcome, so congrats to you. Nothing like taking that leap of faith and landing squarely on your feet. Thanks for sharing what many of us feel.

Jessica Kielman said...

I'm so grateful that you posted this today. I have been going through the same sort of thing...I openend a shop, then felt sick because, what if no one likes my stuff. I love your tags...truly inspirational!

Jessica @ Mom 4 Real

Fiona @findingfifth said...

Anyone who takes the time to put such a lovely handmade tag on her delivery items deserves more business. It;s a pity I live in Australia and not NW Iowa. Great that you shared your fears and faith. You may just get a lot of lovely friends out of customers!

reFresh reStyle said...

You're such an inspiration! You have blessed me with your words. I know exactly what you mean...I have those doubts too! I have been selling my stuff for 3 weeks and it has been awesome. I still have doubts everytime I put something in my booth and then I pray :)
Have a great weekend,

NanaDiana said...

Laura- What an inspirational post. How many times have we fought our fears and never even let ourselves try something for fear of failing. I do think that God knows those desires of our hearts that we dare not even voice.

I am very proud of you- for doing what you want to do...Blessings- xo Diana

Tammy Partin Spangler said...

Very inspiritional! Yes, our God is great! Blessings, Tammy

Jann Olson said...

Laura, never doubt yourself. You are so very talented and the Lord will be there all the way. I love every piece you do. Your work has natural charm!

~ Tami said...

Wow! Such beautiful work. If only I lived closer to Iowa! That mirror is calling my name! Funny how the Lord just lays it all out there for us in HIS timing. Congratulations and good luck!
Tami @ Curb Alert!

Norma said...

First time visitor to your blog and also just found your fb page. LIKE what I see, LIKE your faith, your family, your work, your barn, your style!

Will have to read more later. Glad I found you! :)

Kimberly @ The Brown Eyes Have It said...

You are amazing! You can do this! What an exciting new endeavor! I wish you all the best and will send some extra prayers your way, too.

Bliss said...

You have always been more than a SAHM. He put you there in that spot too, at that time. And now He gives you more. I might have to take a drive to Iowa.